FOUR CATHOLIC MOTHERS WERE HAVING COFFEE TOGETHER DISCUSSING HOW IMPOTANT THEIR CHILDREN ARE.

THE FIRST ONE TELLS HER FRIENDS, MY SON IS A PRIEST WHEN , HE WALKS INTO A ROOM, EVERYONE CALLS HIM FATHER"

THE SECOND CATHOLIC WOMAN CHIRPS, "WELL MY SON IS A BISHOP, WHENEVER HE WALKS INTO A ROOM, PEOPLE SAY "YOUR GRACE".

THE THIRD CATHOLIC WOMAN SAYS SMUGLY, "WELL NOT TO PUT YOU DOWN, BUT MY SON IS A CARDINAL, WHENEVER HE WALKS INTO A ROOM, PEOPLE SAY, "YOUR EMINENCE"                                                                                   

THE FOURTH CATHOLIC WOMANN SIPS HER COFFEE IN SILENCE. THE FIRST THREE WOMEN GIVE HER THIS SUBTLE "WELL"??

                              

MRS. B. REPLIES, """MY SON IS JON BON JOVI, WHENEVER HE WALKS INTO A ROOM, PEOPLE SAY,"""OH MY GOD....""""

 

 

just a cute little joke hope it does not afend anyone

 

and that you do not take this wrong, for i love GOD AND KNOW HE IS THE ONLY GOD AND NUMBER ONE IN MY LIFE WITH OUT HIM WE WOULD NOT BE HERE CINDY

 

                  NEW EXERCIZE PROGRAM

 

THIS GIRL WAS ORDERD BY HER DR TO LOSE 75 POUNDS DUE TO VERY SERIOUS HEALTH RISKS . AS SHE WONDERED HOW IN THE HECK SHE WOULD EVER DO IT, SHE RAN ACROSS AN AD IN THE NEWSPAPER FOR A GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM FROM BACKSTAGE WITH JON BON JOVI.

 

GUARANTEED? LIKE HELL''' SHE THOUGHT TO HERSELF, BUT DESPERATE, SHE CALLS THEM UP AND SUBSCRIBES TH THE 3 DAY 10 POUND WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM.

 

THE NEXT DAY THERE IS A KNOCK AT HER DOOR AND WHEN SHE ANSWERS, THERE STANDS BEFORE HER JON BON JOVI, TANNED AND SMILING, DRESSED IN NOTHING BUT A PAIR OF NIKE RUNNING SHOES, AND A SIGN AROUND HIS NECK,

 

HE INTRODUCES HIMSELF AS A REPRESENTATIVE OF THE BACKSTAGE WEIGHT LOSS COMPANY. THE SIGN READS, IF YOU CAN CATCH ME, YOU CAN HAVE ME !!!!

 

WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT SHE TAKES OFF AFTER HIM, A FEW MILES LATER, HUFFING AND PUFFING, SHE FINALLY CATCHES HIM AND HAS HER WAY WITH JON AFTER THEY ARE THROUGH AND HE LEAVES, SHE THINKS TO HERSELF, I LIKE THE WAY THIS COMPANY DOES BUSINESS.''

 

JON SHOWS UP FOR THE NEXT TWO DAYS AND THE SAME THING HAPPENS.

 

ON THE FOURTH DAY SHE WEIGHS HERSELF AND IS DELIGHTED TO FIND SHE HAS LOST 10 POUNDS AS PROMISED.

 

SO SHE CALLS BACKSTAGE AND ORDERS FROM THEM THEIR 5 DAY 20 POUND PROGRAM.

 

AS EXPECTED, THE NEXT DAY THERE'S A KNOCK AT THE DOOR AND THERE STANDS JON AND RICHIE SAMBORA, WEARING NOTHING BUT REEBOCK RUNNING SHOES AND A SIGN AROUND THEIR NECKS THAT READ IF YOU CAN CATCH ME, YOU CAN HAVE ME.

SHE'S OUT THE DOOR AND AFTER THEM LIKE A SHOT.

 

JON AND RICHIE ARE IN EXCELLENT SHAPE AND IT TAKES HER A WHILE TO CATCH THEM BUT WHEN SHE DOES, IT IS WORTH EVERY CRAMP AND WHEEZE. THEY ARE BY FAR THE BEST SHE'S EVER HAD. FOR THE NEXT 4 DAYS THE SAME ROUTINE HAPPENS AND MUCH TO HER DELIGHT, ON THE 5TH DAY SHE WEIGHS HERSELF AND FOUND SHE HAS LOST 20 POUNDS. SHE DECIDES TO GO FOR BROKE AND CALLS BACKSTAGE TO ORDER THE 7 DAY 50 POUND PROGRAM!!!! ARE YOU SURE??? ASKS THE REPRESENTATIVE ON THE PHONE, THIS IS OUR MOST RIGOUOUS PROGRAM... ABSOLUTELY, SHE REPLIES, I HAVEN'T FELT THIS GOOD IN YEARS. 

 

THE NEXT DAY THERE'S A KNOCK AT THE DOOR AND WHEN SHE OPENS IT SHE FINDS DOROTHEA BONGIOVI AND HEATHER LOCKLEAR STANDING THERE WEARING NOTHING BUT PINK RACING SPIKES AND A SIGN AROUND THEIR NECKS THAT READS, IF I CATCH YOU, I CAN HAVE YOU...........